you hold me a little too long because you’re worried
and I’m not talking and I get it I do
but if you keep loving me so close I’m going to suffocate
from trying not to cry.

it’s true that I’m not used to cracking
to letting the water right through
but I know you’ve seen me crumble in the arms of others
seen me soak in my own tears on someone else
I just don’t think you realise the difference.

see I can sit and weep on shoulders and laps;
keen and keen, alone in my car
but at the end of it all I go home
to our sanctuary, where things shine and shine
and I am afraid to let my voracious darkness into our safe place.

you are my home and my hearth
and coming back to you at the end is the light of my day
but maybe there are not enough rooms in this apartment for me,
for me to have a place to recover
if I am breaking in one of them already.